Resolving To Be Regret-Free: Join Me

Well here we are. The point in the year which I kinda dread, and kinda look forward to. The new year. I am (more often than I’d like to be) a glass half empty type of person. Mainly when it comes to myself and my own accomplishments. Anything and everything that has to do with others I am 1000% a glass half full kind of gal. I can find a silver lining in a shit storm, only when it’s someone else’s shit storm. When it comes to my own it’s a slippery slope and fast spiral downward into the depths of failures past and failures present (damn you self deprecation!). The worst part tends to be when I try to focus on all the things that I have achieved in the past year. In one foul swoop I am able to rain on that parade with all the ways I could have, and should have done them better. The paths I should have taken, the avenues I should have travelled, however you want to sugar coat it, REGRET & GUILT are huge parts of my present. They are always there, lurking, reminding, rubbing my face in things.

I hate them.

So naturally I try and take the new year as the cue to make each year THE YEAR I kick regret & guilt curbside and relish in the moments and things that deserve the accolades and joy.
Well, you can guess how that always turns out…

About a month ago, I came across THIS article on a friend’s Facebook feed that spoke to me. I really haven’t been able to get it out of my head since. It’s focus was mom guilt on any and every level. I don’t care what kind of mom you consider yourself, guilt comes with the territory. For the full time working out of the house mom, to the full time stay at home mom, to the full time work from home mom, to the part time working mom…there is really no escaping it. Granted my regret and guilt stems way past the mom issues, but it definitely takes up a lot of space in my pile o’ issues. Look, I’m the first to admit it, I CAN BE a bit of an overachiever/perfectionist when it comes to doing stuff with the kids (and just doing things in general). It’s a gift and a curse that I share with my dad. I can’t imagine being any other way, however, it does prove time and time again to be exhausting, as well as often unappreciated and all consuming.

Anyway, I digress.

So I came across the article and nodded in understanding all the way through. It felt good to know how many others were out there with the same INSANE things they found themselves riddled with guilt over (hello, STILL harboring the guilt over forgetting my daughter’s picture day at school. IN OCTOBER.)
However, it also reminded me to stop trying to live up to the expectations and to start living in the moments. I mean, would a pat on the back from myself to myself kill me every now and again!? So what, I forgot picture day! How about the joy & pride on her face when we brought a special snack to her class and I read the excited brood Pinkalicious? And did I manage the space out on a show & tell day for my son? You betcha. Is he still thriving, happy & loves me with all of his little heart? Yeppers. Being glass half empty, has allowed me to harbor the guilt and focus on my shortcomings for far too long. It holds me back from high-fiving myself over so many deserved moments, like taking the time to make a date with my 5yr old son once a week to work on a lego creation. Or to have a tea party with my 3yr old daughter. Or to find and make a new and exciting recipe for a home cooked family meal. Or for researching and creating a countless amount of crafts and homemade gifts for each other. Or for telling them how much they are loved every second of every day. Or for working so hard to get my own business back up, running and making money. Or for giving myself a thousand different hats to wear from wife, to friend, to mother, to therapist, to chef, to doctor, to ms. fix it, to designer…and managing to interchange them all with grace (err, for the most part).

Reliving my personal regrets over and over again, instead of focusing on my now and my future, only allows the past to live on. Sure, I need to be prepared to fail if I plan to leap. But how can I leap if I keep letting the past chain me down?

So as I look to tomorrow and to 2014, I resolve to LEAP. I resolve to embrace my NOW. I resolve to APPLAUD MYSELF no matter how small or large the accomplishment may be. Some days that may just mean getting my bed made. Others it may mean having landed a new client. I resolve to keep my glass half-full this year, and to be the seeker of my own silver linings during le storms ‘o shit. I resolve to be my own number one fan, and to show my kids sometimes we may fail and sometimes we may succeed and both deserve to be celebrated and learned from. And above all else, will things get us down, and sometimes get the better or us? Of course they will. But the only way to truly move onward and upward is to shake it off, let it go and to push ahead, with no regrets.

So leave the guilt in 2013. And may 2014 be a year filled with laughter, peace, love and no regrets.
From my brood to yours: a happy and healthy 2104.

Here's looking to a great 2014!

Here’s looking to a great 2014!

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